You can hear the thunder and rain from the lonely hollows of the Fox Cave underneath Twain Manor, drumming the walls, as do the thoughts inside Bat-Eared Foxmans’ head. Every monitor on the multimillion dollar computer system is up running; Hootsuite open to the left, Google up on the right, rankings software cascading multiple screens up above, and the unending emails staring him in the face.
“Wilfred, can you get me another glass of scotch? It looks like it’s going to be another long night,” says the caped crusader to his friend, confidant, and butler as he hunkers down over the work in front of him, digging in for the long haul.
Suddenly, the bottom right of Bat-Eared Foxman’s Gmail pops up with an incoming call. It’s from the Fortress of Isolation. Superdude is still up.
“Hey Foxy, how are those clients doing? I’m getting through my work really quickly tonight, looks like I’ll be done here in a few, just wanted to see how it was going,” says Superdude.
“Great. It’s going great,” says Bat-Eared Foxman. “Bye.”
He closes the chat.
The never-ending argument between two of the greatest, but mostly unknown, superheroes reverberates through all of those throughout the comic book world. But what about the world of digital marketing? In the online universe, the playing field is evened out, no longer based on physical attributes and powers, but focused on the mental game: who can come with the most creative, efficient, and effective strategies to make your clients succeed in their industry and crush the competition?
Who would be a better digital marketer? Bat-Eared Foxman or Superdude?
|Bat-Eared Foxman Pros||Superdude Pros|
|Money – Is there anything that Bat-Eared Foxman wouldn’t be able to afford? Backed by Twain Enterprises, the largest company in Gothic, Bat-Eared Foxman can fly around the world in the Foxwing to every industry conference, rubbing elbows with Rand Fishkin, Matt Cutts, Guy Kawasaki, and other thought leaders you’ve only dreamed of getting near. He can also give his clients the best of the best when it comes to software, marketing spend, and online tools. So many tools to fill his…||Speed – So aside from MAYBE that other really fast superhero (the argument of who’s faster – him or Superdude – may also never be decided), Superdude is the fastest being on the planet and therefore can finish your work in no time. I don’t even want to think about how many words per minute the alien can type, but he could get any job turned around for you in approximately three to five minutes (or less).|
|Tool Belt – One of the defining items in his repertoire, the tool belt of the Dark Paladin is full of industry-leading tools to serve his clients. Want the latest, trendiest social media management software? Done. Need to plan out your content marketing calendar for the next month? Got it. Want to see where you’re ranking on Google, Yahoo, Bing, and mobile devices? Check. If you can dream it, you can bet he’s got something to do it.||Journalism Degree – I mean, he had to be able to get that job at the Daily World somehow, right? Obviously Superdude’s alter ego, Clark Brent, is well-studied and flexes his academic muscles when needed. This enables Superdude to come up with creative ways to structure and further your campaigns goals.|
|Sidekicks – Sometimes it pays to have a butler, more cape-wielding heroes, and even some cat-like villains as friends. When you’re on a deadline and you have to get that social media strategy out or need to post all of your client’s content pages, having a team behind you is crucial. Especially when you have guys like the evil villain the Jester trying to hack your WordPress plugins and bring down the entire Gothic City website. Troubleshooting and strategizing with your crew will help you win the fight against all online threats.||Flight – Yeah, he can fly. At a moment’s notice, he can be off and on his way to his next meeting, ensuring that you will never have to worry about making it to your check-in on time. Superdude’s got you covered, giving you more time to run your business, manage your employees, and expand your reach. Plus, he can fly. Why wouldn’t you want to work with someone who could fly? Did I mention he can fly? Superdude can fly.|
|Bat-Eared Foxman Cons||Superdude Cons|
|Ego – I mean, is there anyone that talks about his money and good looks more than Bat-Eared Foxman’s alter ego, Bruce Twain? Someone does, I’m sure. I don’t know who, but someone. He knows what he has, who he is, and what he’s capable of, but sometimes that kind of character can turn off those clients who are on the fence. Of course, if you say no to Bruce Twain, you might get a visit from a man in black later that night.||Fortress of Isolation– Does anyone REALLY know where the Fortress of Isolation is? I mean, the word solitude is in the title, as in he doesn’t want anyone else there, so where would you go to have your kickoff meetings? Could he ever host a client cookout? Would you ever get to see his office?|
|Fear of Foxes– If Bat-Eared Foxman ever runs into a skulk of foxes, you can expect to see production completely vanish for the day. Hopefully those clients don’t need anything that day, because they aren’t going to get it while he’s sitting in the corner, rocking himself back to sanity, and reminding himself that the reason we fall is to get back up again.||Kryptonium– It’s been very well documented that Superdude’s biggest weakness is kryptonium, which has always seemed strange to me. If it’s call kryptonium, it has to be from Kryptonia. Superdude is from Kryptonia. Why would he be weak around a rock from his home planet? All it takes is a tiny sliver of kryptonium to knock the Man of Iron out of commision. Hopefully you weren’t trying to start your Adwords campaign that day or you didn’t need to promote your event on social media. Whoops.|
|Vehicles – Let’s be honest, the vehicles are cool and all, but you can’t even fly? Really? We get it, you know 100+ different forms of martial arts, but you can’t get from Gothic to Metropolis any faster than Southwest Airlines. What’s that? This has nothing to do with digital marketing? Dude can’t fly. This has everything to do with digital marketing.||Laser Vision – While some might think that having laser vision would be a bonus, if you shoot lasers out of your eyes, you always have to be careful. What happens when Superdude forgets to save that draft of your new press release or content page and the burns through his monitor? Yeah.|
So what’s the verdict?
In my estimation (and against my better judgment), Bat-Eared Foxman would be the victor here. He just has too many practical, real-world traits going for him. With all of those tools and clearly a better job, the Dark Paladin would have the upper hand. He has a team of experts behind him, an unlimited supply of resources, and all that style.
So if you’re looking for your next superhero digital marketing firm, your best bet might be to go with Twain Enterprises over…Superdude Marketing? (See, Superdude doesn’t even have a legitimate business name, much less a scalable model.)
Who do you think would be the better marketer and why?
Want to work with a team of digital marketing superheroes? Call Site Strategics at 317-793-2937 or visit us at www.sitestrategics.com.
Infographic by DK New Media (www.dknewmedia.com)